Tagline: Mysterious. Dangerous. Reptilious. You’ve never seen heroes like this.
Year: 2014 Runtime: 101 min
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Writer: Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, Evan Daugherty
Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fitchner
Synopsis (from IMDb):
“A group of mutated warriors face off against an evil kingpin who wants to take over New York.”
There are three types who will see this film: (1) fans of the comic book (2) spastic pre-teen children and (3) movie critics.
If you’re a fan of the comics, especially the ORIGINAL (read in the smuggest, slack-jawed drawl of self-importance), this movie, like everything that was done to the franchise after said ORIGINAL, is whore’s crap. Same goes for movie critics, unless you’re an ass-licking liar looking for favors. Then it’s Tony the Tiger all the way, “It’s Grrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaattttttt!”
If you’re a spastic pre-teen children, you’ll fall in with the ass-licking liars: you’ll love it. Ultimately it doesn’t matter ‘cos you’ll forget the whole damned thing before you reach the light of the lobby, but eh. At least your parent(s) had an hour and forty minutes of peace.
Honestly, TMNT falls somewhere in between Hercules and Captain America: The Winter Soldier. It’s a movie about 15 year old, mutated box turtles who are ninjas, and it actually has 15 year old, mutated box turtles who are ninjas, making it better than Hercules. Yet, because it’s about 15 year old, mutated box turtles who are ninjas, filtered through Nickelodeon’s lens focusing it on spastic pre-teen children, it’s less entertaining than Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Captain America was focused on spastic teen/young adult childrens, thus making it more appealing to the refined tastes of viewers like myself.
So, if you’ve got spastic pre-teen children, or a nephew/niece that fits the description, TMNT will get them out of your hair for about 101 minutes.